Sexting with Jake

FIRST by Jacob Louder - available 4/4/14! Click image for excerpt.

FIRST by Jacob Louder – available 4/4/14! Click image for excerpt.

Jacob Louder’s literary porn novella, FIRST, launches tomorrow. Jake’s book is a radical porn utopia, and you shouldn’t read it unless you’re comfortable with young folks who are under the “legal age of consent” having powerful and connected sex with one another–sex that helps them to be and discover who they are. (Hats off here to Nabakov, who we pretty much idolize at GDP.) Anyhoo, I asked Jake to send me five texts–or “sexts,” if you will–explaining why he decided to write about kids having sex, in First. Here’s what he sent:

1. I’m continually impressed with kids who can identify who they are as sexual beings at such an early age. Even if they can’t identify who they are just yet, it seems like they’re more open to exploration and less consumed with labels. In First, I romanticized this idea. Everyone does what they want with people who want it, with no thought on the past or present. They all live in the moment. There is no shame. These kids are ideal human beings. If they were real, and if there were more of them–lots, lots more–the world could have the most loving, compassionate future.

2. I think I wrote First for me and for everyone else who came out young-ish in the early 90s. It was a completely different climate, with the HIV/AIDS crisis completely snubbed by the U.S. government, very full “closets” in almost every industry, city, and suburb, and not nearly as much representation in the media as there is today. There was no marriage equality. (I have to note, though, that in almost every way, my generation had it much better than the generations before me. I have to thank the love and fight in every single person, in every single activist, who ensured that my coming out and my young existence as queer wasn’t nearly as fucked up as theirs may have been.) At Nico’s age, I never thought I’d be happy with who I was. I thought that I’d have to figure out how to be heterosexual one way or another. I thought I was the only kid who felt the way I did. I had no role models (until I turned about 17 or so). So, Nico is the boy I wish I had been, living a very different life in a very different climate, and fully recognizing that love can be with anyone, as long as there’s honesty and respect. I’m living a bit vicariously.

3. Kids watch porn. Kids have sex. I’m sorry, Moms and Dads, but they do.

4. I think it was easy to write this young utopia because I see kids as being “romantically unblemished.” This isn’t to say that those of us over the age of 18 can’t live or don’t live like the characters in First. But when I think of wide-eyed openness and trust, I think of young humans, of anyone who hasn’t had their hearts ripped out of their chests, like most of us have, one way or another. It was important for me to have every heart on a sleeve. (Except for the case of Rory and John, but their “relationship” is another slice of life that I find kind of interesting to explore.)

5. I wanted to show young people as smart, grounded, and capable of significant amounts of kindness and intimacy. I wanted to show them as nonjudgmental and open and accepting of everyone and everything, as long as that everyone-and-everything are from places of love. I wanted to show them as better than us.

Thanks a million, Jake. I was so moved by your sexts. And folks, FIRST will be available on Friday 4/4/14. Can’t wait!

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Early Reviews Are In for “First”!

FIRST by Jacob Louder - available soon! Click image for excerpt.

FIRST by Jacob Louder – available soon! Click image for excerpt.

So, the early reviews for Jacob Louder’s “First” are in, and, to be honest, Jake should be peeing himself. In fact, I’m pretty sure he is:

“FIRST would be an erotic teen Utopia, if it wasn’t for the bullies that do their best to spoil it. Louder’s novella is a literary page-turner that’s hotter than a porn mag. Get ready to redefine consent, receive blow jobs from your straight friends, and fall in love with a trans 10-year-old who deserves to wear lipstick her whole damn life. A tour de force!” —Lana Fox, author of Confessions of a Kinky Divorcee

“In a story that’s as sweet as it is sticky, Jacob Louder conjures a world that’s long on sexual possibility and short on shame. I wouldn’t mind living there.” —Natty Soltesz, author of Backwoods

“A stunning debut by the fearless Jacob Louder, FIRST hits the erotica scene with a startlingly original voice that displays an unusual freedom in expressing sexual beginnings. The tale of teenage Nico’s introduction to the sexual side of both boys and girls has all the trappings of a good read: plausible and realistic characters; a defined and specific place and time; deliciously descriptive sex; and a bold and unapologetic voice. Not to mention that it starts with my two favorite words in the English language: ‘My cock….’” —Dario Dalla Lasta, Huddle

“First” will be available soon from Go Deeper Press. Join our email list to get notified once it’s ready for your e-reader of choice, or follow Jake on Twitter!

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Cover Reveal: Jacob Louder’s Porn Novella, FIRST

FIRST by Jacob Louder - available soon! Click image for excerpt.

FIRST by Jacob Louder – available soon! Click image for excerpt.

Jake Louder’s FIRST is to be launched this April — and here’s the cover reveal. The cover, by the way, is by our talented Angela Tavares, who will soon be available for indie cover design services via our Here Booky Booky one-stop publishing shop (website soon!)

Read the opening of Jake’s FIRST here. FIRST is a porn novella, so, depending on your workplace, may be NSFW. It’s hot and daring from line 1.

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Porn Stars at Duke, Sex Workers in Opera! If That Isn’t Great Activism, We’ll Eat Our Hats.

Nabbed from the Sex Workers' Opera blog - First Meeting Results (click image to get there).

Nabbed from the Sex Workers’ Opera blog – First Meeting Results (click image to get there).

Congrats to porn star Belle Knox for coming out! Knox, who paid for her Duke University education by taking part in erotic movies, wants to help sex workers—possibly by starting a foundation. This is such great activism that it makes us do whirlwind Snoopy dances. (And if you’ve never seen Angela doing a Snoopy dance, believe me, you are missing out.)

In the NY Daily News, Knox says, “I really enjoy sex, and I’ve always loved watching porn, so it just seemed like I could pay my way through college doing something I really love doing.” Awesome, hm? Read more here.

And what a great time to mention the Sex Workers’ Opera—a new and exciting project in London, that will give voice to sex workers via operatic performance. Talk about great activism that smashes cultural stereotypes!

Also, if you’d like to read our activist erotic collection Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame, starring fabulous writers such as Laila Blake, Sommer Marsden, Zoe More, and Stella Harris, among talented others, pop over to Amazon Kindle and purchase a copy. You’ll tickle us pink, if you do!

Bravo to all.

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Brazen!

GDP Square1Have you seen the fabulous tumblr entitled Critiquing Your Dick Pics with Love? It’s NSFW and totally enjoyable. Plus it’s great anti-shame activism, in our opinion. Take a look!

And thanks so much to all of you for downloading Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame for free. For instance, we’re very grateful to Jade Waters for leaving us a wonderful 5-star review. Among other things, she says, “I have no shame in saying I loved this collection!” In fact, Jade Waters is also a wonderfully talented erotic author, so go and take a look at her website too!

To read a free erotic story from the Shameless Behavior collection, take a look at Compassion’s Seed – the story of a priest who is in desperate need of sexual transformation…

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Our Erotic Collection, Shameless Behavior, is FREE This Weekend on Kindle!

Download me, shamelessly!

Click on image to download by Sunday night!

 

You can download your ebook here on Saturday March 2nd and Sunday March 3rd. Enjoy!

Check Out Jacob Louder’s Interview on Sex Writing!

ImageThis is a post on writing taken from the Grub Street Daily, with thanks to interviewer Sue Williams:

Courage deserves our encouragement. After all, when we are brave, our writing often grows stronger. Below, I interview queer erotic author Jacob Louder, who has published his erotic writing with Go Deeper Press. He is also the author of the forthcoming erotic novella, First, which features Nico—a queer teen—as he begins his journey of sexual self-discovery, and Robbie—a young trans person—who longs to escape from shame.

Jacob, how did you summon up the courage to first publish your erotic work?

I used to write dirty stories for my friends in high school, right around the time when they all started reading Jackie Collins and Fern Michaels novels. I have no idea how or why I decided to volunteer, but they loved them. So, I guess I didn’t need courage so much in the beginning, just an eager audience, and I had that.

I’ve always used writing as an outlet, right? Like most writers do. And I never found a reason to censor myself, and I know that I’m writing from this very authentic place and with a very strong sense of self. I figure, if I’m doing that–if my heart’s in it and I believe in what I’m writing–why not try and get it published? I’ve never felt shame [...] Read more here!

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All Things Erotica with Alicia on the Raw Sex Radio Show

Alicia of Raw Sex Radio

Alicia of Raw Sex Radio

Tonight, at around 10.30pm EST, I’ll be joining Alicia, the Sexual Intellectual, on the Raw Sex Radio Show. I’ve been enjoying getting to know the show — Alicia is fantastic, so this will be a real treat for me. Check in to 990wbob or listen to the show any time at the 990WBOB Raw Sex page to hear us chat about all things erotic—including erotic writing.

See you there!

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A Free Erotic E-Book Deal: Shameless Behavior

shutterstock_133523684Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame, which features work by erotic luminaries such as Sommer Marsden, Stella Harris, and Kyoko Church, is a collection of 12 stories that are not only sizzling hot, but also tell adventurous tales of triumphing over shame. So naturally, we’re thrilled to be hosting a free giveaway of Shameless Behavior next weekend (March 3rd – 4th, 2014), when you can blaze a trail to Amazon and download the e-book absolutely free!

For a clearer pic of what we’re talking about, you can check out Mia Hopkins’ review of the e-book, which includes these words: “Intelligent, steamy, and thought-provoking, this collection celebrates that moment when, no longer alone, we feel safe enough to bring our deepest secrets into the light only to discover how beautiful we never knew they were.”

That also shows you what an amazing writer Mia Hopkins is, which we, at GDP, well know! But I digress…

To give a taste of what is in store for you, here are the first few sizzling pages from Kyoko Church‘s Wet, which is featured in the collection:

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FREE on March 1st and 2nd from Amazon!

There were things Beth would always remember about that first time with Jeff: the blue of the ocean out of the honeymoon suite window glimpsed from the bed over her new husband’s shoulder, the faint smell of bleach that the Caribbean cleaning staff used before each new guest, a few small cracks in the plaster ceiling, and the intensity with which her normally jovial and easy-going boyfriend of ten months and spouse of twelve hours said, “Okay, let’s do this.”

The other things, honestly, she didn’t try to recall. But they played like a damning loop in her head—a recording she switched on every morning after that first time, one she would painstakingly add to with only the most searing words from each subsequent and progressively awkward coupling. In the end, she would have a highlight reel of the worst moments, a “greatest hits” from those years of shame, a humiliation compilation.

She didn’t play it willingly, exactly, but out of a masochistic need to remind herself each day:

This is who you are.
A woman whose husband finds her repulsive.

***

“I like to read,” Beth said on her first date with Drew, as they sipped their Starbucks coffees amidst the smell of new books.

She knew how trite it sounded, but it was the truth. She’d always loved reading but as her marriage crashed and burned, she escaped into the fantasy of books even more. When her life was miserable and it was difficult to raise her head to face her reflection in the mirror, she placated her damaged heart with fiction.

She read not on a park bench or a coffee shop or while sun tanning on the beach, leisurely and with easy enjoyment—no. She read like she did certain other things: furiously, furtively, with guilty pleasure. She wasn’t reading Dickens or Tolstoy. No Atwood or Kingsolver or Ondaatje for her. You couldn’t say the plots were masterfully handled, subtly crafted, or slowly unfolding. The books she read had brash covers. Two dimensional characters. Books to be read in one sweaty afternoon. She gulped down each delicious morsel and then searched frantically for more.

“I’m a King fan, myself,” Drew said. “Stuart Woods, Linwood Barclay, that kind of thing. What are you reading right now?”

“Oh,” she said, fighting a blush. “Oh, nothing. Just some…romance stuff.”

“Ah.” He smiled. “The ubiquitous rise of dirty e-books, right? Suddenly everyone and her grandma’s into BDSM.”

Then she really did blush. At first glance, Drew looked about as straight as they came, like a guy who read the Bible on weekends for a good time. And yet here was this straight-laced, possible Bible-reading type perfectly at ease saying…those letters.

“Hey, I was just kidding,” he said, noticing her reaction.

But something about the way he said it, with one eyebrow cocked and a twinkle in his eye that was anything but innocent, made her pulse jump a little. It was a look that reminded her of all her favorite male characters in the books she read. Confident. Knowing. Teasing.

Dominant.

God, she thought, as a realization dawned. He’s totally sexy. Certain telltale signs threatened inside of her, below. Parts she tried not to think about began to pulse, and she blushed even harder, squeezing her legs together, which only made things worse.

She wanted to stay. The more he talked, the more she liked him. She liked his bright eyes and his easy, wide smile; his quirky sense of humor and the way he opened up to her, so easily. And she liked that—despite his choir-boy appearance—a shadow of someone not quite so innocent lurked. But those things, in the end, were why she had to leave.

She made her excuses and walked away, desperately wanting to run back at the same time as wanting to put as much distance as possible between Drew and the way he made her feel.

Drew persisted.
They spent countless hours on the phone and IM, and, God, did she love talking to him.

He was smart and witty and kind. They could discuss everything from family and friends, to politics and favorite TV shows, to the latest cancer research and the psychology of sexuality…and everything in between. Safe in the confines of her apartment, things could get a little heated over the phone or chat. They had more than one naughty conversation that, after it ended, pushed Beth to resort to those furious and furtive pleasures she was more than used to providing herself, no brash-covered books necessary. But whenever they met in person and things started to turn intimate, Beth fled.

One night at his place, Drew rented the movie A Dangerous Method. He said it was about Freud and Jung, so she relaxed on his couch, preparing to be enlightened on perhaps the Oedipus complex or the collective unconscious. Instead, she froze in her seat, staring at the screen—Keira Knightley’s Spielrein confessed her secret yearnings to Michael Fassbender’s Jung—thinking she might spontaneously combust. She squirmed and willed her body not to betray her. Drew noticed her squirm and put a comforting arm around her.

When Fassbender trussed Knightley’s wrists up to a door while the brunette, standing and bent at the waist, offered up her ass to be flogged from behind, it was too much for Beth. Wracked with self-consciousness, she shrugged out from under Drew’s arm.

“Hey, are you okay?” Drew asked.
“Yeah, I’m just a little tired, I guess,” Beth said. “I—I might get going.”
“But the movie isn’t done,” Drew said. “Is it too over the top? It’s just…we had all those psychology chats. Or is it me?” he continued in a rush. “Did I do something?”

“No! No, it’s not you,” Beth said.

Drew sighed and looked down for a moment. When he looked up at her again, his eyebrows were peaked in concern. “Beth,” he sighed. “Look, I’m just going to be really honest with you, okay? I like you. A lot. You’re smart and funny and, God, sometimes you’re so sexy, I really have to stop myself from….” He flushed and smiled. “Sorry. I just—I think you’re really attractive.”

Beth could barely contain her pounding heart. If Drew was feeding her lines, then he deserved a best actor award. She didn’t care. She’d been lost in the desert for too long, and now she wanted to drink in the look in his eyes—the one that said he wanted her.

“And,” Drew continued, “I know you like me, too. I mean, the talks we’ve had! I’ll admit, I’ve needed a cold shower after more than one.” Beth blushed with her own private memories, but kept quiet. “When we’re together, though, every time I sense a connection between us— something happening—you pull away.”

Unexpectedly, Beth felt tears spring to her eyes.
“Am I wrong?”
“You’re not wrong,” she whispered.
He moved closer to her on the couch, placed a hand on her knee. Gently, he took her chin and placed a small, delicate kiss on her lips—their first. “Sweet Beth,” he murmured. “What has he done to you?”

Her breathing caught. “What?” she gasped.

“It doesn’t take a mind reader to know that someone has you believing you are less than the amazing, sexy, beautiful woman you truly are,” he said softly, and then kissed her again, moving his arms to encircle her small frame.

“Oh,” she sighed, deflated that her insecurities were so plain, weakened by how his words nudged her deep-seated wounds.

She let herself be swept away then. Swept away by all the things he was doing, the things she’d wanted for so long: his lips on hers; the knowing way he kissed her; the feel of his strong, warm hands running down her sides, then stroking her thighs. When he cupped her breasts firmly, and even when he pinched her nipples, sending jolts of sensation straight down between her legs, she was able to push aside all of the shame and fear and loathing. She wanted this so badly.

But then.

He reached his hand up under her skirt and momentarily teased his fingers over her panty-covered mound. The sensation was fleeting and all the sweeter for being so. But when he deftly hooked his thumbs into her panties, tugged them down and off, and with a waft of coolness finding its way to her moistened cleft, her ex’s words clawed through, unbidden.

You always get so wet.
It’s so…messy.
I don’t want to get it on my fingers.
And the worst one.
I can still smell it.
She flushed hard. Her head spun, and she felt slightly nauseous. She stood. “I—I’m so sorry, Drew. I have to go.”
“Beth, please, let’s talk about it.”
But she was already grabbing her purse.
In her car on the way home, she tried to talk herself into going back. She couldn’t stay like this forever. Closed off. Unfulfilled. Ashamed. But Jeff’s words, those memories of her ex, they lived inside her like a thing, like a python that had insidiously wrapped itself around her heart and refused to let go. All starting with that first time…. [Read the rest of the story during our free Kindle giveaway on March 1st and 2nd 2014, or buy the book at Amazon today!]

Thank you for supporting us at Go Deeper Press! We heart you all — our readers, social media friends, and supporters.

Thanks for reading! Guzzle up our sexy reads at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Go Deeper Press (for all e-readers), and we’ll love you forever. You can also receive a free erotic e-book when you join our super-sensitive, sex-positive, freebie-gifting email list. Hearts.

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Kevin Killian on the Hot-and-Sweaty Huddle

e5saNlBnIYKVCMfVcKj9wTJQpbYU2w4EUYByW8KGl04So, did we ever tell you what the amazing Kevin Killian told Angela Tavares about her hot collection, Huddle: Sex with Sporty Queers? He said (*clears throat*) “I enjoyed it thoroughly!”

Thoroughly, I tell you!

Kevin Killian, reading your praise made our jock straps kinda sweaty.

Speaking of perspiration, Huddle, if you haven’t heard, is a collection of erotic stories by Dario Dalla Lasta, Benji Bright, Tamsin Flowers, Theophilia St. Claire, and Christopher Stoddard. In this don’t-show-your-grandma-unless-she’s-into-it tome, the sports field gets sweaty, the cloakrooms get even sweatier, and the boy-on-boy bodies, well, they’re the sweatiest yet. I’m proud of Angela’s collection, and the stories by these bold and bitchin’ authors, because they’re not afraid to enjoy sex to the full — and feel it honestly and hotly on the page.

Wanna see some of Dario Dalla Lasta’s story, “Game Set Match”? Click here.

Now, I told you that to tell you this: GDP author Jacob Louder is currently completing his final draft of a novella called First. First isn’t your usual erotica. And if you get upset about Nabakov’s Lolita, stop reading now. Because First follows the hot exploits of Nico Ericsson, a 14-year old queer with a passion for teens of all genders, including Robbie and his acceptance of his genderqueer identity, Hannah with her incredible — oh God — incredible mouth, and a whole lot of others.

Because teenagers have sex. And we all know it. What’s more, powerful authors, like Dennis Cooper for instance, show us this, time and again. And teen sex is not only some of the hottest sex possible — it is also the sex where we’re often finding ourselves, accepting ourselves, challenging ourselves, expressing ourselves. Whether solo or partnered, teen sex is the place where our sexual bodies are born, where we are told we are shameful but explore it all anyway, where our inner heroes are born and raised, where many of us give the finger to what we’re told to be.

Yes, teenagers have sex. With themselves, with teens, and sometimes with adults. And as an anti-censorship publisher who is fed up of being told we can’t write about certain kinds of humanity, we couldn’t be more excited about Jacob’s First.

Now, Jacob won’t tell you this, but I can: It’s beautiful. And hot. And it’s told from the heart and loins.

Watch this space for your free sample, coming soon. YES!

Buy Huddle on Amazon

Buy Huddle on B&N

Buy Huddle from GDP

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