Courtesy of the wild Irish comedy “Father Ted.”
Sigmund Freud did some important things, including discovering the unconscious mind. He also pushed those of us who have dreams about snakes into waking up shouting, “Dear god, I need to get laid!”
Well, dear readers, Freud was a bit of a snake himself, wasn’t he? Especially when it came to the clitoris. He believed–because he possessed one, snort–that cocks were “more developed” than clits. He also believed that when a young girl touches her clitoris for pleasure, she is acting as if she has a small penis (when, according to Freud, she really doesn’t). As soon as she realizes that she doesn’t have a penis, she is embarrassed, said Freud, and starts to masturbate vaginally.
Holy shit. Pass me a stake, Buffy.
Anyhoo, this was a load of horse manure (apologies to horses), yet it’s the kind of crap that we’ve been hearing since Ancient Greek and Roman times: “The pussy is less, the penis is more” has too often been our birthright. *Lana holds head and groans.*
Of course, it so happens that we’ve all been restricted by such babble, men included. Society’s focus on the penis has caused many to think that size is a marker of sexual performance, which, of course, is a heap of steaming lies. (When Anais Nin told Henry Miller that she loved his cock because it was smaller than her husband’s and therefore fitted her better, he was profoundly confused.) As for women, we’ve often been taught that we have something “less” then men. Indeed, an old professor once told me that, in Elizabethan English slang, a penis was called a “thing” and a woman’s pussy (brace yourself) was therefore called a “no thing.”
Someone please fix me a vodka while I find my boxing gloves.
So! Today, I challenge you to say something proud about your clit—or clits in general—in public. Here are a few examples of fabulous things to share
Hard-ons, everyone! Yes, considering that our clits are about the same size as a small penis, our resulting hard-ons can be pretty darn big. Sadly, society is often unaware of the fact that women have hard-ons. So let’s shout it from the rooftops. “I have hard-ons, yes!”
Okay, this one’s a deep one: As explained by Riki Wilchins in “Genderqueer: Voices from Beyond the Sexual Binary,” we cut up babies on a daily basis because they have both a clit and a penis, or a similar combination. Says Riki, “Intersexed infants, who are not clearly male or female, occur in about one in every 2000 births. Because anything that is not male or female is not a true sex, we pronounce them ‘abnormal,’ fit them legally into male or female, and fit them physically into boy or girl by cutting them up at a rate of about five a day.” Fortunately, there are babies who are not cut up because of this. In other words, just because someone is born with a penis doesn’t mean that they weren’t also born with a clit, and just because someone is born with a clit doesn’t mean they weren’t also born with a penis. Oh, and some folks have both. So suck on that, Freud.
Freud said that dreams about snakes were dreams about the penis…or about all things male. Yet, he never said that dreams about snakes might be dreams about the clitoris. I’m saying that though. Yes, me. I say, “Dreams about snakes are dreams about the clitoris,” and it seems I have just about as much evidence as good old Mr. Freud. *Lana beams, proud of self*
There’s a course you can do—a fabulous, spiritual-sexual course—called the Mermaid Voyage: A Two-Week Journey of Erotic Self-Discovery. In this course, we gain erotic and romantic self-esteem, and we treat the clitoris as a sexual-spiritual gem. This is a great way of tapping your erotic light in order to help love yourself and also attract the friends and partners you desire. Find out more, and enjoy a free audio visualization, via Go Deeper Press.
And ya know, when we talk about vaginal and clitoral orgasms, the clitoris is the origin of both. (Thank you, dear Ms. Clit, for a raging good time.) In fact, if we were taught about this during sex education classes, we’d know that clitoral stimulation is the key to all kinds of orgasm. The vaginal orgasm originates in the clit. The clit is key, baby. The clit is key.
A brief aside: In my sex ed. class at the age of 12, one of the few things I learned was how to put a condom onto a banana.
Well, those are a few of the things I like to say about clits, but frankly, I bet you have many of your own to share. So please do comment below! I’d love to hear your ideas. What’s more, today is a celebratory day of clitoral loveliness, and so we’re having a marvelous blog hop! Please please do visit these wonderfully knowledgeable peeps and read their posts on the gorgeous clitoris.
August McLaughlin: The Highly Sensitive Clitoris
Ande Lyons at Bring Back Desire: Celebrating the Clitoris
Kitt Crescendo: Project Cliteracy
Yolanda Shoshanna: Cheers to the Clit
Angela Tavares Where Were You the First Time You Found the Clitoris?
And you can also join us on Twitter (#ClitChat and #ClitParty). The most popular tweet today will win a Go Deeper Press erotic e-book of choice, a reading from the amazing sex-positive Clairvoyant, Yolanda Shoshanna, and (yes, there’s more!) a free e-book from the marvelous Bring Back Desire. All for a tweet! I don’t know about you, but my clit is doing a little dance in celebration.
Also, if you fancy writing erotica with me in Boston, (yay!), check out Go Deeper, Baby: Writing Meaningful Erotica.
So see you on Twitter!
And in the words of Susie Bright, clits up.
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