Thanks, as always, for your support!
Go Deeper Press
Thanks, as always, for your support!
Go Deeper Press
One Million Moms can find one million ways to be cunts. Latest example? The organization’s attack on cartoon superhero, SheZow. The little crimefighter in pink is the alter ego of a young boy named Guy Hamdon, who magically transforms into SheZow by putting on a ring and (this is the best part) shouting “You go girl!” If you can stomach it, read the Moms’ barely literate hate speech by clicking right here.
You know, I’d guess that a good majority of moms actually know how hard it is to be a kid, especially if you’re a kid that, for some reason, just doesn’t fit in. The reasons could be simple: you don’t throw a ball well, you’re painstakingly shy, or you’re too inside your head, preferring to read and draw over socializing with the rest of your class. The reasons can also be not so simple: Let’s say your skin is darker than everyone else’s, or you kind of spend a lot of time thinking about kissing another kid wearing the same dress as you, or you just don’t feel right in the skin of the gender you were assigned.
I find it strange that these Moms are more compelled to attack a television show rather than accept all the beautiful ways their kids can be kids, that they’d use ignorance and attack language to mandate what’s appropriate for their children and yours.
The Moms say that the Hub channel shouldn’t air a cartoon that features a “gender-bending character.” Okay. You, dear Mothers, shouldn’t be working yourself into a tizzy over how television will “dictate” who your child will grow up to be or love. You want to protect them, right? Start with a hug.
Many thanks to wickedgayblog.
Now, we at GDP know that you, amazing readers of our blog, probably don’t care if your kids grow up to be a fairies of any sort. And if they do, you’re likely not to call them monsters or accuse them of trying to pollute the morality of our always fair and pure United States. Oh, this reminds me! Speaking of fairies and monsters, Boston-area folks should check out the new Grub Street classes offered by our Lana, run under another equally sexy name: Forbidden Fairy Tales and Vulnerable Monsters. That’s right: Lana can teach you about way more than how to write hot sex. She’s the total effin’ package. Details below!
Thursday, June 27th, 6:30-9:30pm at Grub Street headquarters.
Saturday, June 29th, 2:30-5:30pm at Grub Street headquarters.
Thanks for supporting Go Deeper Press. If you’d like to browse our erotic, sex-positive e-books for brain and brawn, you can find our website here.
First of all, erotic author Harper Bliss asked me some exciting questions this week. To view the interview, which includes who I’d like to screw, why I dig Spike, and how I feel about coming out, visit her fabulous blog. This is the first of Harper’s interviews with authors whose books she rates highly. In fact, I’m honored that Harper says:
“I totally recommend every book featured on here. Confessions of a Kinky Divorcee is a great start because it’s light, funny, utterly delicious and extremely well-written (and very, very hot!) You can get it for $1.99 (!) on Amazon US and UK and, frankly, it was the best $1.99 I spent in a very long time.”
Dear Harper, thank you. Please know that *Lana Fox glows with pride.*
Also, on a very different note, you might be aware that Britain’s first female prime minister, Margaret Thatcher, died this week. (Read about it at Salon.) She was a domme, in her way. And seeing as I’m a Brit who loves a bit of BDSM and now lives in Boston, US, how could I not comment? As it happens, when I was a kid, I spent many unhappy evenings in pitch darkness because of Thatcher. Why? Because everyone who wasn’t dripping in diamonds was being treated so badly that they were on strike. What’s more, Thatcher pretty much ignored them.
That said, I do often think of Margaret Thatcher as a tragic Shakespearian BDSM anti-hero, strutting around in her pearls and insisting that she could darn well run the nation as a woman, thank you very much. And that was very important for us, as Brits. To watch a woman in a world of men running the country as she saw fit.
Actually, in the film starring Meryl Streep (boy, that woman can act!), there is a wonderful moment where Thatcher, before she is voted in, is told by her advisors that she shouldn’t wear pearls. They’re too femme, too delicate, her advisors say. But Thatcher tells them, point blank, that pearls are exactly the tone that the Conservative Party wishes to strike.
So she wore those pearls and she ruled in those pearls.
And I sat in candlelight and drew bad pictures in crayon.
Photo credit: By White House Photographic Office [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Thanks for supporting Go Deeper Press by reading our blog. If you’d like to browse our erotic, sex-positive e-books for brain and brawn, you can find our website here. And don’t forget to check out our current calls for submission!
Now, as you can guess from the title of my erotic novel, Confessions of a Kinky Divorcee (also available on NOOK), I’m more than a little interested in kink. In Kinky Divorcee, it all starts with shoes, but there are also some kinky dynamics at play. For instance, Debs believes she can’t have a much younger lover partly because of the age taboo. Our society can say, time and again, that love has nothing to do with age, but at heart they often don’t mean it. Well, Debs has to let go of the age myth, as well as the notion that consenting sex can’t occur even though you’re adults if you’re old enough to be someone’s parent.
Also, we can shout “it’s fantasy!” until we’re blue in the face, yet people still get upset about age play.
Anyhoo, this brings me to the House of Cards Trilogy, which we’ve been watching recently. (I’ve seen it many times before, but for Angela, this is a first.) I couldn’t wait to get to the point where Francis Urquhart (a politician who secretly thirsts to be Brit Prime Minister) makes a pass at Mattie Storin, a passionate young journalist. In the early scenes below, Mattie has no idea that she is saying the very things Urquhart is already thinking. In truth, he seduces her when she believes that she is seducing him.
That said, she’s the one that says what she wants to “call” him in the bedroom. And it’s kinky indeed. Part of why I find Mattie so attractive is because she owns her sexuality, owns her kink. In fact, Mattie clearly has a hold over Urquhart, and seeing as nobody else really does, that’s perhaps a mesmeric attraction for him, especially seeing as he’s always wanted to be “a father of daughters.”
WARNING: If you watch these snippets right to the end, there are a few small spoilers.
This first appeared in a slightly edited version on What the Fox? Lana Fox’s sexuality blog.
A while back, in her podcast “In Bed with Susie Bright,” Susie mentioned the fad for vaginoplasty, in which women with perfectly healthy genitals have surgery for “correction.” Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m certainly not letting a surgeon down there with a knife unless I really have to. I mean, hell, there are certain vibrators that look frightening to me! (I’ve never been a “tentacle” girl….) Also, how can you make something unique “correct”?
Seriously, though, this is all about fear.
The female sex, pussy, or whatever you want to call it, is beautiful, not shrink-wrapped to order. Here’s my take. If your lover can’t like your sex just the way it is, change the lover, not the vagina. As Susie so brilliantly puts it, pornography in the past was the first to demonstrate variety. Pictures of the female sex, which are meant for arousal, have often been displayed in an array. All those models don’t have the same pussy. They’re variously enticing and appeal in different ways. If there’s only one sort of sexy sex, why show the others?
For a part of the body that many of us expose the least, our sex can be tremendously defining. After all, when we’re sexually unconfident, the feelings can run deeply, affecting our moods, even our personalities. Activist writers such as Stephen Elliott explore how sexuality can affect our whole lives:
“If you are a sadist, someone who likes inflicting pain, then you need to find someone who craves pain instead of taking it out on those who don’t. And if you are a submissive, you need to find someone who enjoys controlling you rather than manipulating your lovers into a pattern of abuse.” From Stephen Elliott’s essay, “BDSM” in Dirty Words, ed. by Ellen Sussman.
There are a million questions that we can be asking ourselves about the way we are. What turns us on or off can affect us in powerful ways. Do you crave tenderness and/or pain? Or can pain be tenderness and tenderness, pain? What happens when you feel released and liberated? Do you enjoy having sex with yourself? If not, why not? If so, how does solo sex affect you? Have you looked at your sex in a mirror? If not, why not? Do you want to have sex at the moment? Maybe you don’t? Do you always want to climax during sex, or perhaps sex can be perfectly enjoyable without an orgasm? And as for our genitals, in true RuPaul wisdom, if we can’t love ourselves, how the hell we gonna love somebody else? (Amen!)
These are the questions we should be asking ourselves, not whether or not our genitals look right to a surgeon. And while plastic surgery can be immensely helpful under the right circumstances (for instance, I know that burn victims often find it life-changing), when it’s just about making ourselves more “beautiful” or “acceptable” to society—many of whom enjoy uniqueness more than sameness—it’s surely time to look inside, not out.
Photo credit: Jacob Appelbaum from san francisco, USA (Nude and captured.) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons
And it looks like fellow students and one particularly pea-brained teacher at Sullivan High School in Indiana know this, but still, they’re pushing for an “alternate” prom where there will be a “ban on gays.” Now, I know this is already screaming nuts to you, but I insist you check out the Huffington Post article on this, because I’m fairly certain it will make you angry enough to shred metal with your bare hands. What a sad state of affairs, in 2013, when a community in the middle of the United States starts relying on bogus, bigoted tactics to keep things “traditional.” So tell me, Sullivan, Indiana: How long before the non-white kids have their own separate bathrooms?
Okay. Deep breaths for me now as I direct you to more positive places. Have a Facebook account, do you? Great! Go and support the LGBTQ kids and all their non-bigoted friends at their Facebook page, Support the Sullivan High School Prom for All Students. Leave a comment and let them know you have their backs. And what a great time to mention all the amazing work that the Boston Alliance of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Youth (BAGLY) has done over the years. Hell, they offer their own prom for queer kids who want to feel safe and embraced, and why not drop them a few bucks in support of all this?
In completely different news, get ready for Alison Tyler’s Those Girls, because they’re hot in all their red-headness, in all their insolent, sassy, new-bottom-swagger way. Trust me. It will be available on Valentine’s Day, and at a discounted price–that’s the rumor.
While Angela and I were in the UK, the Church of England announced its decision to allow gay men in civil partnerships to become bishops. (Those who don’t know about the Church of England, it’s a branch of Christianity that allows its clergy to have sex within the bounds of heterosexual marriage.) Interestingly, when we heard this news, we’d been reading for our forthcoming anthology, As the Bishop Said to the Actress, and while our submissions did contain many fun, humorous stories, we were also reading quite deep, dark subs that spoke to the problem of sexual shame.
One of the many downsides to the new decision is that, within their civil partnership, gay bishops would be required to still be celibate, while also repenting their past “sexual sins.” Gay marriage isn’t yet legal in the UK (though, frankly, it’s a waiting game), and the power tactics in this debate are abundantly clear: “If you’re heterosexual, you’re allowed to have sex in wedlock. If, however, you’re gay, we won’t let you get married and we want you to recognize that your past extra-marital sex was sinful.”
It’s a bully’s game.
But at least being a bishop is possible if you are gay.
Not if you’re a woman, however.
Yes, just hours before I started writing this post, proposals about the introduction of women bishops received a big “no” from the Church of England. In other words, a gay man can be trusted with a high church role. But a woman, of any sexual identity? Big, bad no. Isn’t it amazing how deep sexism can go?
Of course, one thing that comes to mind is this: With their emphasis on which body bits you own and what exactly you do with them, the Church of England is obsessed with genitalia, not to mention sex itself. Metaphorically speaking, the church is peering through everyone’s keyholes, ready to yelp if they see two cocks in the same place. I can’t think of anything more sex-obsessed than this, or as voyeuristic.
Thank God for Sister Margaret Farley’s book, “Just Love,” which sings the praises of masturbation. This brave writer-nun, who indeed understands that love is what matters above all else, is much-needed in the Church of England. At least, that’s my five cents on the matter. (Or tuppence, depending on where I am at the time.)
In the meantime, we look forward to releasing As the Bishop Said to the Actress — an erotic anthology that explores the burden of shame and the power of sexual liberation, especially when we’ve been told that sex is a sin.
By the way, have you ever seen the Vicar of Dibley? The BBC’s comedy stars a Church of England vicar, played by Dawn French. It’s certainly helped to turn around the notion that only men are vicars in the UK.
Angela and I have been returning to my comical roots by watching British comedy vids. What we didn’t realize was that two of our recent vids would refer to the notion that the Greeks invented gayness. Snort. Being gay ourselves, it occurs to us that we have a great deal to thank the Greeks for. 😉
Anyhoo, here’s one of the scenes from the brilliant Irish comedy, Father Ted. In this one, Father Ted has been mistaken for a racist. The hilarious scene ends with a portrayal of both racism and homophobia at their most ridiculous! Side-splitting stuff.
Oh, and let’s give a nod to Ancient Greek gay poet Sappho too, of course, who wrote with such gorgeous longing. And also the red and black figure vases that are said to depict gay wooing rituals in ancient times.
Yes folks, we’re in London on a Go Deeper vacation. Of course, I’m a British ex-pat, so coming “home” is always a pretty amazing — and befuddling — experience. Anyhoo, you might already know that Britain is reputed to be both a place of BDSM and also a country where sex is often “too embarrassing to talk about.” Both? you cry… Yes, a paradox in leather and chains.
So! Here are a few scandals from the past (courtesy of Mental Floss) in which British politicians were discovered in compromising positions. The funny thing is that many “heterosexual” male politicians have been discovered, over the years, to be secretly having (or seeking) gay sex. These news stories are called “scandals” by gossips and homophobes (and their newspapers of course) but for many of us, the only “scandal” in several of these cases is the fact that the person concerned appeared to be cheating on their monogamous partner, by having secret sex in clandestine places. And that, in my opinion, is also the fault of sexual shame.
On a final note, Angela and I wanted to visit Sh! Erotic Emporium yesterday — a London sex store for women — but it was just too far away. I went to Sh! many years ago and really enjoyed it. In fact, it’s where I bought one of my first sex toys. If you’re in London, do take a peek.
Tally-ho for now, folks!