Lilly Boxer, the Sex-Negative Dog
Good evening, dear mild-mannered bitches.
As a sex-negative dog, ay don’t usually do erotica reviews. But when Step-Mom Lana and BestMomEver asked me to give my cookie’s worth on Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame, ay said, “Will I get a Dentastick if ay do this?” And when the answer was yes, of course, ay jumped at the chance. What else is a bitch to do?
Honestly, ay can’t recommend this book enough. No, wait. What ay mean is, ay can’t recommend this book. Now, you may think to yourself, ah, but LB is a sex-negative dog, so of course she isn’t going to recommend an erotic anthology. But ay can honestly tell you that if this book had less squishy rumpy pumpy in it, ay would give it a first class review.
Ay mean, let’s start with Step-Mom Lana’s terrible piece of smut from the collection, in which a priest gets erotically “saved” by a Virgin Mary lookalike. Now, correct me if ay’m wrong, dear bitches, but isn’t the whole point of being a priest the fact that you’re saved from sex? All that icky below-the-tail mess! Ay tried it once with Bandito the dachshund from next door, and let’s just say ay was cleansing my bottom for weeks. Also, he was very small and ay am a boxer. This, as you can imagine, gave me a unique overview of the situation.
Now, BestMomEver does not appear in this sticky collection, and ay have to say ay’m glad. But apparently she line-edited the thing, which means every time there is a c-word or a d-word or an f-word, BestMomEver did not censor it.
The only story that ay thought was not icky, was ‘Holding’ by Laurel Isaac. Laurel Isaac knows that peeing is a pure and loveable pursuit, and that it bonds us together, and should never cause shame. Ay wouldn’t be surprised if this wonderful writer had a dog of her own. Peeing, of course, is not icky, and Bandito and I bonded more over peeing than anything else. Why humans are so ashamed of peeing, ay will never know. Ay mean, they pee in a pot. How silly of them.
All the same, dear bitches, ay have been told that if ay give this collection of overcoming shame a five-star review, there will be extra Purina One in it for me, along with the aforementioned Dentastix. So bravo, bravo to the editors and authors of Shameless Behavior. If you’re going to read a book that has lots of icky rumpy pumpy in it, and you don’t mind being more moist than usual, please read this one because Step-Mom Lana and BestMomEver make some money to buy me cookies and such.
Raise those legs, bitches.
–LB the SexNegativeDog
You can buy Shameless Behavior at godeeperpress.com, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble. And thanks for your support!