Tag Archives: activist

Sexting with Jake

FIRST by Jacob Louder - available 4/4/14! Click image for excerpt.

FIRST by Jacob Louder – available 4/4/14! Click image for excerpt.

Jacob Louder’s literary porn novella, FIRST, launches tomorrow. Jake’s book is a radical porn utopia, and you shouldn’t read it unless you’re comfortable with young folks who are under the “legal age of consent” having powerful and connected sex with one another–sex that helps them to be and discover who they are. (Hats off here to Nabakov, who we pretty much idolize at GDP.) Anyhoo, I asked Jake to send me five texts–or “sexts,” if you will–explaining why he decided to write about kids having sex, in First. Here’s what he sent:

1. I’m continually impressed with kids who can identify who they are as sexual beings at such an early age. Even if they can’t identify who they are just yet, it seems like they’re more open to exploration and less consumed with labels. In First, I romanticized this idea. Everyone does what they want with people who want it, with no thought on the past or present. They all live in the moment. There is no shame. These kids are ideal human beings. If they were real, and if there were more of them–lots, lots more–the world could have the most loving, compassionate future.

2. I think I wrote First for me and for everyone else who came out young-ish in the early 90s. It was a completely different climate, with the HIV/AIDS crisis completely snubbed by the U.S. government, very full “closets” in almost every industry, city, and suburb, and not nearly as much representation in the media as there is today. There was no marriage equality. (I have to note, though, that in almost every way, my generation had it much better than the generations before me. I have to thank the love and fight in every single person, in every single activist, who ensured that my coming out and my young existence as queer wasn’t nearly as fucked up as theirs may have been.) At Nico’s age, I never thought I’d be happy with who I was. I thought that I’d have to figure out how to be heterosexual one way or another. I thought I was the only kid who felt the way I did. I had no role models (until I turned about 17 or so). So, Nico is the boy I wish I had been, living a very different life in a very different climate, and fully recognizing that love can be with anyone, as long as there’s honesty and respect. I’m living a bit vicariously.

3. Kids watch porn. Kids have sex. I’m sorry, Moms and Dads, but they do.

4. I think it was easy to write this young utopia because I see kids as being “romantically unblemished.” This isn’t to say that those of us over the age of 18 can’t live or don’t live like the characters in First. But when I think of wide-eyed openness and trust, I think of young humans, of anyone who hasn’t had their hearts ripped out of their chests, like most of us have, one way or another. It was important for me to have every heart on a sleeve. (Except for the case of Rory and John, but their “relationship” is another slice of life that I find kind of interesting to explore.)

5. I wanted to show young people as smart, grounded, and capable of significant amounts of kindness and intimacy. I wanted to show them as nonjudgmental and open and accepting of everyone and everything, as long as that everyone-and-everything are from places of love. I wanted to show them as better than us.

Thanks a million, Jake. I was so moved by your sexts. And folks, FIRST will be available on Friday 4/4/14. Can’t wait!

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Brazen!

GDP Square1Have you seen the fabulous tumblr entitled Critiquing Your Dick Pics with Love? It’s NSFW and totally enjoyable. Plus it’s great anti-shame activism, in our opinion. Take a look!

And thanks so much to all of you for downloading Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame for free. For instance, we’re very grateful to Jade Waters for leaving us a wonderful 5-star review. Among other things, she says, “I have no shame in saying I loved this collection!” In fact, Jade Waters is also a wonderfully talented erotic author, so go and take a look at her website too!

To read a free erotic story from the Shameless Behavior collection, take a look at Compassion’s Seed – the story of a priest who is in desperate need of sexual transformation…

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A Free Erotic E-Book Deal: Shameless Behavior

shutterstock_133523684Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame, which features work by erotic luminaries such as Sommer Marsden, Stella Harris, and Kyoko Church, is a collection of 12 stories that are not only sizzling hot, but also tell adventurous tales of triumphing over shame. So naturally, we’re thrilled to be hosting a free giveaway of Shameless Behavior next weekend (March 3rd – 4th, 2014), when you can blaze a trail to Amazon and download the e-book absolutely free!

For a clearer pic of what we’re talking about, you can check out Mia Hopkins’ review of the e-book, which includes these words: “Intelligent, steamy, and thought-provoking, this collection celebrates that moment when, no longer alone, we feel safe enough to bring our deepest secrets into the light only to discover how beautiful we never knew they were.”

That also shows you what an amazing writer Mia Hopkins is, which we, at GDP, well know! But I digress…

To give a taste of what is in store for you, here are the first few sizzling pages from Kyoko Church‘s Wet, which is featured in the collection:

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FREE on March 1st and 2nd from Amazon!

There were things Beth would always remember about that first time with Jeff: the blue of the ocean out of the honeymoon suite window glimpsed from the bed over her new husband’s shoulder, the faint smell of bleach that the Caribbean cleaning staff used before each new guest, a few small cracks in the plaster ceiling, and the intensity with which her normally jovial and easy-going boyfriend of ten months and spouse of twelve hours said, “Okay, let’s do this.”

The other things, honestly, she didn’t try to recall. But they played like a damning loop in her head—a recording she switched on every morning after that first time, one she would painstakingly add to with only the most searing words from each subsequent and progressively awkward coupling. In the end, she would have a highlight reel of the worst moments, a “greatest hits” from those years of shame, a humiliation compilation.

She didn’t play it willingly, exactly, but out of a masochistic need to remind herself each day:

This is who you are.
A woman whose husband finds her repulsive.

***

“I like to read,” Beth said on her first date with Drew, as they sipped their Starbucks coffees amidst the smell of new books.

She knew how trite it sounded, but it was the truth. She’d always loved reading but as her marriage crashed and burned, she escaped into the fantasy of books even more. When her life was miserable and it was difficult to raise her head to face her reflection in the mirror, she placated her damaged heart with fiction.

She read not on a park bench or a coffee shop or while sun tanning on the beach, leisurely and with easy enjoyment—no. She read like she did certain other things: furiously, furtively, with guilty pleasure. She wasn’t reading Dickens or Tolstoy. No Atwood or Kingsolver or Ondaatje for her. You couldn’t say the plots were masterfully handled, subtly crafted, or slowly unfolding. The books she read had brash covers. Two dimensional characters. Books to be read in one sweaty afternoon. She gulped down each delicious morsel and then searched frantically for more.

“I’m a King fan, myself,” Drew said. “Stuart Woods, Linwood Barclay, that kind of thing. What are you reading right now?”

“Oh,” she said, fighting a blush. “Oh, nothing. Just some…romance stuff.”

“Ah.” He smiled. “The ubiquitous rise of dirty e-books, right? Suddenly everyone and her grandma’s into BDSM.”

Then she really did blush. At first glance, Drew looked about as straight as they came, like a guy who read the Bible on weekends for a good time. And yet here was this straight-laced, possible Bible-reading type perfectly at ease saying…those letters.

“Hey, I was just kidding,” he said, noticing her reaction.

But something about the way he said it, with one eyebrow cocked and a twinkle in his eye that was anything but innocent, made her pulse jump a little. It was a look that reminded her of all her favorite male characters in the books she read. Confident. Knowing. Teasing.

Dominant.

God, she thought, as a realization dawned. He’s totally sexy. Certain telltale signs threatened inside of her, below. Parts she tried not to think about began to pulse, and she blushed even harder, squeezing her legs together, which only made things worse.

She wanted to stay. The more he talked, the more she liked him. She liked his bright eyes and his easy, wide smile; his quirky sense of humor and the way he opened up to her, so easily. And she liked that—despite his choir-boy appearance—a shadow of someone not quite so innocent lurked. But those things, in the end, were why she had to leave.

She made her excuses and walked away, desperately wanting to run back at the same time as wanting to put as much distance as possible between Drew and the way he made her feel.

Drew persisted.
They spent countless hours on the phone and IM, and, God, did she love talking to him.

He was smart and witty and kind. They could discuss everything from family and friends, to politics and favorite TV shows, to the latest cancer research and the psychology of sexuality…and everything in between. Safe in the confines of her apartment, things could get a little heated over the phone or chat. They had more than one naughty conversation that, after it ended, pushed Beth to resort to those furious and furtive pleasures she was more than used to providing herself, no brash-covered books necessary. But whenever they met in person and things started to turn intimate, Beth fled.

One night at his place, Drew rented the movie A Dangerous Method. He said it was about Freud and Jung, so she relaxed on his couch, preparing to be enlightened on perhaps the Oedipus complex or the collective unconscious. Instead, she froze in her seat, staring at the screen—Keira Knightley’s Spielrein confessed her secret yearnings to Michael Fassbender’s Jung—thinking she might spontaneously combust. She squirmed and willed her body not to betray her. Drew noticed her squirm and put a comforting arm around her.

When Fassbender trussed Knightley’s wrists up to a door while the brunette, standing and bent at the waist, offered up her ass to be flogged from behind, it was too much for Beth. Wracked with self-consciousness, she shrugged out from under Drew’s arm.

“Hey, are you okay?” Drew asked.
“Yeah, I’m just a little tired, I guess,” Beth said. “I—I might get going.”
“But the movie isn’t done,” Drew said. “Is it too over the top? It’s just…we had all those psychology chats. Or is it me?” he continued in a rush. “Did I do something?”

“No! No, it’s not you,” Beth said.

Drew sighed and looked down for a moment. When he looked up at her again, his eyebrows were peaked in concern. “Beth,” he sighed. “Look, I’m just going to be really honest with you, okay? I like you. A lot. You’re smart and funny and, God, sometimes you’re so sexy, I really have to stop myself from….” He flushed and smiled. “Sorry. I just—I think you’re really attractive.”

Beth could barely contain her pounding heart. If Drew was feeding her lines, then he deserved a best actor award. She didn’t care. She’d been lost in the desert for too long, and now she wanted to drink in the look in his eyes—the one that said he wanted her.

“And,” Drew continued, “I know you like me, too. I mean, the talks we’ve had! I’ll admit, I’ve needed a cold shower after more than one.” Beth blushed with her own private memories, but kept quiet. “When we’re together, though, every time I sense a connection between us— something happening—you pull away.”

Unexpectedly, Beth felt tears spring to her eyes.
“Am I wrong?”
“You’re not wrong,” she whispered.
He moved closer to her on the couch, placed a hand on her knee. Gently, he took her chin and placed a small, delicate kiss on her lips—their first. “Sweet Beth,” he murmured. “What has he done to you?”

Her breathing caught. “What?” she gasped.

“It doesn’t take a mind reader to know that someone has you believing you are less than the amazing, sexy, beautiful woman you truly are,” he said softly, and then kissed her again, moving his arms to encircle her small frame.

“Oh,” she sighed, deflated that her insecurities were so plain, weakened by how his words nudged her deep-seated wounds.

She let herself be swept away then. Swept away by all the things he was doing, the things she’d wanted for so long: his lips on hers; the knowing way he kissed her; the feel of his strong, warm hands running down her sides, then stroking her thighs. When he cupped her breasts firmly, and even when he pinched her nipples, sending jolts of sensation straight down between her legs, she was able to push aside all of the shame and fear and loathing. She wanted this so badly.

But then.

He reached his hand up under her skirt and momentarily teased his fingers over her panty-covered mound. The sensation was fleeting and all the sweeter for being so. But when he deftly hooked his thumbs into her panties, tugged them down and off, and with a waft of coolness finding its way to her moistened cleft, her ex’s words clawed through, unbidden.

You always get so wet.
It’s so…messy.
I don’t want to get it on my fingers.
And the worst one.
I can still smell it.
She flushed hard. Her head spun, and she felt slightly nauseous. She stood. “I—I’m so sorry, Drew. I have to go.”
“Beth, please, let’s talk about it.”
But she was already grabbing her purse.
In her car on the way home, she tried to talk herself into going back. She couldn’t stay like this forever. Closed off. Unfulfilled. Ashamed. But Jeff’s words, those memories of her ex, they lived inside her like a thing, like a python that had insidiously wrapped itself around her heart and refused to let go. All starting with that first time…. [Read the rest of the story during our free Kindle giveaway on March 1st and 2nd 2014, or buy the book at Amazon today!]

Thank you for supporting us at Go Deeper Press! We heart you all — our readers, social media friends, and supporters.

Thanks for reading! Guzzle up our sexy reads at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Go Deeper Press (for all e-readers), and we’ll love you forever. You can also receive a free erotic e-book when you join our super-sensitive, sex-positive, freebie-gifting email list. Hearts.

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“To Write What Turns Me On” – An Interview with Laila Blake (Part 1)

Author, Laila Blake

Author, Laila Blake

1. Laila, we’re thrilled to have published you in Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame. Why do you enjoy writing erotic stories?

Most of my day-to-day writing isn’t erotic, in fact, I’ve spent the last few months working on a very tame, contemporary YA manuscript. My other novels usually contain erotic content to some degree, but the pacing of most of them simply doesn’t allow for more than one or two graphic scenes in the entire book. And it wouldn’t be completely true to say that this makes me sad – I like them the way they are, but I do sometimes feel like I’m leaving something out that is important to me and to the characters, but that really isn’t important in the story arc.

Erotic stories are the opposite – for a few thousand words, I don’t have to care about a broader plot. I get to compress two whole lives into usually a single scene centered on a sexual experience, and that is a lot of fun and a great way to unwind from the occassional drudgery of working through novels.

I also find it empowering. As a woman, I grew up in a culture that led to me to believe for most of my adolescence and early adult years that my sexuality was very narrowly defined by the sexual identities of the men I was with. I couldn’t express what I liked, what I fantasized about, I couldn’t even really fathom that I was really allowed to dislike something a guy liked, or like it in a different way.

By writing erotic stories, I get to do just that – I get to write what turns me on, or speculate about stuff that does it for others. I get to play around with concepts and practices, and reclaim my connection to not just my personal sexuality, but to connect with so many wonderful women who read and write erotic stories, too.

2. Who are some of your writing and erotic inspirations?

A few months after my first novel was published, I got a phone call from my ex-boxfriend. This had become a rarity, and I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, until in his rambling way he asked whether our experiences together ended up in the book.

I wanted to say: “Well, buy it and effing read the book it you really want to know!” But instead I blushed, then I laughed and told him to check his ego. That was a lie, though–of course it was. Most of my ideas come from the people around me and the experiences I share with them, however filtered and removed the eventual story will be. My wonderful writing partner Lorrie is one of them, too. I know we both have played around with specifically writing stories to push the other’s buttons.

Just working with some of these wonderful editors inspires me to no end, as well as all these women who have been paving the way for us newer writers with such grace, dignity, and intelligence, women who show that writing erotica does not have to go along with a loss in quality.

3. Can you tell us a little about your story in Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame?

Of course, I’m happy to! “Doll-faced Demons” is the story of a lesbian couple visiting one of the women’s homophobic parents. Upset by their bigotry, the women trash her old room; they cut open plush toys, jump on the bed and fuck there in utter defiance of the juvenile, innocent image her family is trying to maintain of their daughter.

I tell it from the perspective of the visitor, shocked as she is when confronted in real life by what she has only ever heard about. That was my main inspiration for the piece, actually– that I, as a bisexual woman in the demographic in which I grew up, have never once faced any kind of discrimination for it. But I am still part of a community whose essential struggle I can only sympathize with, aid in, but never truly understand.

The second half of this interview will be published tomorrow!

ABOUT LAILA

Y0Z_2e4m33EA1AikWpFA3-bZSIG04gM4mLkjj_vZJYkYou can find Laila Blake at www.lailablake.com, where she lists her publications and blogs about writing and society. She also co-hosts the podcast Lilt.

Her social media haunts are pinterest and goodreads, but she also hangs out on twitter and she has a facebook page. For updates on new publications, there is also her newsletter, which she promises will be very sparing and unspammy.

Support sex-positive fiction by buying GDP’s books from Amazon, B&N, and GoDeeperPress.com.

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