Where Were You the First Time You Found the Clitoris?

The Clitoris, from “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut” (1999). Courtesy of southpark.wikia.com.

Author note: With my apologies to those of us without clits.

Stan: Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?

My discovery wasn’t anything like South Park’s Stan Marsh. There was no journey or quizzical looks,  followed by a great reveal. It could be argued, I guess, that my discovery was a little less innocent.

I had no idea how I knew my dad kept porn in that black knapsack. I honestly don’t remember. Maybe he did a really shit job of covering it up one day, and there I was, young pup passing by, and there was no way I wouldn’t stop to look at the naked tits on the cover.

Long story short, it was a full-length pornographic film of the absolute worst variety: horrible lighting, horrible 80s hair on everyone (and I mean on their heads), absolutely no connection between the actors. But in the first scene, while I watched a beautiful brunette lying legs spread on a faux mattress, with the gray-haired man moving his cock inside her (in sort of a labored way, might I add, and I do remember thinking, “Oh, I can do way better than that if I had one of those”), I noticed that she reached down with her thin fingers, with her red nails, and rubbed in a circular motion at the very top of her labia. She made noises then (finally) like she was having a very, very good time, like everything felt amazingly good. She closed her eyes, tilted her head back, her feathered hair light on her pillow.

This intrigued me. She was a woman and I was a girl and did I have that same spot that she seemed to enjoy touching so much? Oh, I so did.

There are people who argue that kids can learn all the wrong things about sex from porn. So what an amazing time it must be to be inexperienced, when there are legions of erotic presses, sex-positives, sex therapists, and sex educators who can explain all of its delightful intricacies–partnered or not–to everyone who needs it.

Hey! Don’t forget to check out the following blogs celebrating the #ClitParty:

• August McLaughlin from Savor the Storm
• Ande Lyons from Bring Back Desire
• Yolanda Shoshana from Modern Courtesan Magazine
• Kitt Crescendo from The Inner Wildcat

—

Thanks for supporting Go Deeper Press. If you’d like to browse our erotic, sex-positive e-books for brain and brawn, you can find our website here.