As the Bishop Said to the Actress: Erotic Contests

Bishop Brennan from the legendary “Father Ted”

Have you ever heard of the British phrase, “as the bishop said to the actress”?  If not, here’s the lowdown.  If someone says, without intending a sex pun, “I’ll give you it as soon as I can…” or “It’s getting harder and harder…” or “Put this in there, would you…” it is customary in circles of pun-obsessed souls to tack on the phrase, “…as the bishop said to the actress.”  Voila!  The reverse phrase is used as well:  “As the actress said to the bishop….”  And there are other alternatives — take a look here to read more.  You can also follow or use the Twitter hashtag we’ve created, #AsTheBishopSaidToTheActress, for more bishop-themed punning, with zero guarantee of taste.  Snort.

So what does this have to do with Go Deeper Press?  Well, we are offering twenty bucks to the best #AsTheBishopSaidToTheActress tweet.  The winning tweet will be published on our blog.  By the way, folks, the hash tag must be used for tweet to qualify.  Deadline: October 20th.  If you prefer to enter by commenting on this blog (rather than on Twitter) that’s great too, but remember that your “tweet” (or rather tweet-like comment) needs to be 140 characters or less, including the hash tag.

Our other contest offers publication of the best erotic stories that contain a bishop and an actress…and, of course, a sex pun.  Warning:  These still have to be hot, intriguing, character-driven stories that are well-written.  These stories can be comical, but we’re after a range of moods.  You can enter stories of between 400 and 1,500 words (See our submission guidelines below).  And because it is quite a feat to create an enticing erotic tale within these limits, we’re offering 100 dollars to the best one.  All stories will be considered for publication by Go Deeper Press.  The deadline for this contest is November 15th.

Hard, but worth it.

Pun intended.

Submission guidelines for story contest:  Please send your stories as a double-spaced, 12 point font, Word attachment.  Email to: submissions [at] with “Bishop to the Actress” in the subject line.  If you do this, you will make our editors’ lives so smooth and shiny that we will send positive reiki right towards your manuscript.  (No, really!).  Deadline: November 15th at midnight (US time, EST).

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3 thoughts on “As the Bishop Said to the Actress: Erotic Contests

  1. Charisse says:

    If I understand correctly, “as the bishop said to the actress” is the equivalent of “that’s what she said”…? I think I can handle that. 😉

  2. angela says:

    Looking forward to your submission!

  3. John O says:

    #go deeper she said? go up higher – with your wiggly thing with the crook on the end in my oval orifice – as the actress said to the bishop

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